Ash Wednesday

I'm bossy.

I will be the first to admit it.

I have attitude like out the waa-zoo and sometimes can't contain it.

And my wonderful husband will be the last to admit it... simply because he knows better.

He is more care-free and doesn't get uptight like I do.

But this post isn't about confession.... it's about improvement.

Last night Brian reminded me that today is the first day of lent.

Ash Wendesday.

Simply put: giving up something to be more God-like.

I always thought people who gave up chocolate or sugar or Dr. Pepper for lent were crazy.

Who would subject themselves to that?

I mean... if you couldn't keep your new year's resolution, what makes you think you can keep this goal?

ANYWAYS....

I suggested to Brian that we each give up something for lent.

I was thinking something silly like eating-out or something that would cut back on money expenses.

Brian's response:

Beth, lent isn't superficial.... It's about giving up a vice and working to improve yourself.

Beth:

OK then.... what vice would you like to give up?

Brian:

I don't have any I need to work on.

Beth:

*rolls her eyes"

(Yes.... he's still learning...)

This got me thinking though.

If I could choose one vice to get rid of, what would it be?

What holds me back the most?

What's ruining my relationship with my husband?

Yup....

I'm too bossy.

I try to control everything.

I try to manage everyone.

And I hate not knowing what's going on.

I want to be less bossy.

I want to be less competitive.

I want to be more loving and understanding to my employees and students.

I want to be someone that people can turn to and know they'll be understood, not judged.

I don't want to be the manager or producer that everyone is afriad of becuase I'm so "intimidating."

I want to do stuff for myself rather that continually asking for "favors" from my husband.

Do not fear; I'm not giving up who I am.

I just want to lighten up who I am.

Just a bit.

Love much,

Beth